-EN- The cry of a lost man
by Crexyen
Summary: Nancy, the new farmer, has just arrived in town when her friends dare her to hang out with Shane, one of the most hated villager. At first finding him utterly gross and disgusting, she will grow used to the quotidian of a lost alcoholic man who has nothing left but some chickens. [WARNING : This story will turn around Shane's depression and suicidal feelings]
1. Chapter 1

Pelican Town is that small haven for anyone exhausted by city life seeking for a fresher air, and it's got everything one could be expecting from a place lost in the middle of nowhere : kind villagers, farmers, shops. Everyone is living their peaceful life.  
I'm Nancy, and i just arrived in the community after years of living out of a miserably paid job on the behalf of people who don't even know I exist. I've had enough. So, I guess I simply decided to take back my grandfather's business in his farm despite my nonexistent knowledge in plants. Or animals, for that matter.  
Now I've arrived some days ago and already had some friends here and there. Robin and the mayor really were sweet with me, and I think I'm getting friend with Abigail by now. We sometimes hang out at her place to play games or talk about stuffs on our mind. And tonight was the night she invited me to go at the Saloon with Sebastian and Sam.

So i was there, waiting for them, one beer in the hand laying on that old blue couch that felt like it should have been cleaned ages ago. And then she arrived first, her purple hairs passing the door, turning to face me. She was frowning at first but her eyes opened when she crossed mines.

« Hey Nancy, how are you doing tonight?  
\- I'm fine. What about you? »

She smiled, made a sign of the hand to Gus and then went to sit crossed legs next to me with a bit of a dreamy look.

« Going fine. Sam and Seb shouldn't take long anymore, I spotted them hanging out outside Sam's house. »

Emily arrived right after, handing a beer to Abigail before turning and politely smile to me. She looked so happy today.

« Hi, Nancy! I've never seen you in the bar before, it feels good to see new faces in there. »

I nodded, and Emily left already. She was such a dear sometimes, yet i barely talked twice to her. At least it felt like I was accepted in this town.

« Hey, feels like you got a hook, huh?  
\- What are you talking about? »

I giggled and took a sip of my beer while Abby kept eye contact.

« You should think about finding someone seriously, you look like one of these desperate girls seeking love from chickens.  
\- Don't make bad jokes, I came here to take fresh air from the city, not to flirt with random people i barely know. »

Yet i blushed and looked away from her. It looked like she was digging right into my soul with these blue eyes ; but she gave up with a lazy shrug. At the same time, both Sam and Seb arrived in the bar looking right and left, searching for Abigail and I. Abby raised and shook her hand to get their attention.

« Hey guys, we're here! »

Upon seeing us, Sam walked straight to the back of the saloon ; but he suddenly bumped into a barely standing man who was in the middle of the alley.

« Hey, you! Don't stand just there, what's your problem? »

The man staggered with his beer in one hand, wearing a very drunk face. He moved back two steps, before barely retorting.

« Y-You! Don't… Don't talk to m- »

He burped and vomited on the ground at Sam's feet while letting his empty beer bottle fall and break on the ground in a sea of broken glass. Everyone jumped back suddenly.

« Wow Shane! You really overdid yourself this time. Just go back home you old loser, and stop hanging out in people's feet. »

Shane, wasn't it? I've never saw him myself, but Marnie told me a bit about him. Her nephew helping her at the farm with the chicken. I felt a bit disappointed after seeing him, right now he just looks so miserable with that shaggy look and his worn jacket.

« Sam, stop. »

Abigail stood up and walked to him to catch his hand before quickly dragging him to us. Sebastian followed, bending his path to avoid Shane on the way.

« Just leave him alone, Gus will take care of him.  
\- You're no fun, Abby. He doesn't deserve anything here, he's never been part of the town anyway.  
\- S-Shut… Shut up! »

Shane stood up while holding his own weight against the bar, looking right at Sam in the eyes.

« I am… I'm part of the town! Okay…? »

Gus arrived immediately and caught Shane's arm to slowly drag him out.

« Shane, It's probably time you go back to the farm. Marnie must be worried, it sure is getting late by now. »

I watched, as Gus was throwing Shane by the door. He resisted, but got no other choice than leaving when the door closed right in front of him.

« What a scene. »

Abigail sat back on the armchair while sighing, taking back her beer in one hand.

« I feel bad for the guy. He seemed pretty drunk, right?  
\- It's like that every nights, Shane has a real alcohol problem. »

Sam stood by the couch, seeming enraged by what just happened.

« Seriously, he's such a bother. He never talks to anybody, works at that weird market, and then he expects getting away with people by being rude? »

I didn't know what to think, from what Abigail told me already Sam could be a real hot heads times to times, and probably was saying all that out of anger.

« Just forget about it. »

Seb, next to him, put a hand on his shoulder to tell him to calm down. But before he could say anything else, Abigail suddenly cut short the discussion.

« Hey guys, what about playing a silly game to make us all forget that? We're here for the night, let's not waste the evening mumbling about a random!  
\- Hell, you're right Abby. »

She suddenly left her chair to sit on the ground, and invited us to do so. She gulped the rest of her beer in a few second before wiping her mouth and setting the bottle on the ground.

« Don't tell me-  
\- We're playing the bottle game!  
\- Oh my god, what are you, twelve? »

Sebastian sighed with the most annoyed look on his face as we were laughing. I sat down on the ground, following her.

« Cmon, it won't be that terrible! I've never actually played it, you know.  
\- Oh my dear Nancy, where is your childhood then? »

Seb, grumpy, looked away.

« We used to play that years ago as teens, we're supposed to be adults now.  
\- You chicken! »

Sam sat on the ground too next to me and smiled with all his teeth to his friend, clearly mocking him.

« … Fine, you win. I don't have any choice than to play too. »

Abigail danced a victory gesture and immediately rolled the bottle on the damaged wooden floor without waiting a second more, looking as excited as ever.  
And that is how that night started, with a stupid game and alcohol, between us youngs who had no idea what it all was about to become.

It was getting really late when we kept playing, there were nobody anymore in the bar besides us and Gus cleaning some glasses and plates. Even Emily had left her shift to go take some rest. But who doesn't pull an all nighter on a Saturday night? At least, we did.

« Seb! »

Abigail looked at him after screaming his name, her cheeks red from alcohol. That last one was almost laying on the floor, taking deep breaths of the cigarette he was holding between his fingers.

« Truth.  
\- Hmm.. What about, your first crush ever? »

Sebastian suddenly stood straight, looking at her with blushy cheeks.

« Are you REALLY twelve?  
\- Don't tell me you chicken out of this one.  
\- I don't have any crush. Never had. None. »

Sam laughed next to him and bumped his shoulder against his torso.

« You lier! We all know you only have eyes for Abby.  
\- What the fuck are you saying? I've got nothing for her! »

He looked troubled and quickly grabbed the bottle to turn it again. We all laughed it off, at least until it fell on me.

« Hey, Nancy. It's on you!  
\- Okay guys, i won't play like that scaredy-cat little Seb. Dare me. I'll accept anything.  
\- Don't call me a scaredy cat. Go, Sam, pick a dare for her, a good one she'll have to refuse. »

Sam stopped a second, his hand against his chin to think a few second. The silence was getting heavy as I regretted my words. What the fuck was he going to ask me?

« Hey, I know a good one. »

He winked at me and simply put his hand on my shoulder.

« Please don't ask me to do anything… Weird.  
\- No worries, it's worse. »

He smiled and looked right in my eyes before opening his mouth. The air felt so tense while he was mumbling each of his words one by one.

« Remember Shane? Find a way to go out with him.  
\- What? »

Abigail answered the first. She seemed surprised, and i simply washed away Sam's hand from my shoulder.

« What, are you crazy? We're talking about one's feeling here.  
\- She's right, don't make her play with people as if they were toys.  
\- But she said she'd accept anything, tho. »

I looked away for awhile, but noticed then the worried look of Abby. Was she worried about Shane, or… About me? I wasn't sure about what she was trying to express, but that clearly was my chance, if there was any in the beginning.

« Fine, I'll do it. I'll flirt with that guy. I'm sure he's not that bad when he's not… Utterly drunk.  
\- Oh god, you're serious? »

Sam looked clearly amused while spitting his words, the others not so much. But Gus cut the little party, arriving behind us and catching Seb's cigarette to crush it on an ashtray.

« It's over, the saloon's closing now. Go back to your parent's homes, and take care on your way to the farm Nancy.  
\- Sure, Gus. »

And so we all stood up and walked to the door. The floor had been cleaned during the night.  
I'm wondering what kind of person Shane was, I doubt the type I would like to be around. "Alcoholic behavior" isn't really what i'm searching in a romantic interest, to be honest. But Sam gave me an opportunity. Maybe Abby would get jealous if i developed something with that guy, would it be helpful to get closer to her?  
We all stepped out, and Sam gave me a huge tap on the back when i started walking straight.

« We'll leave you, right Nancy? Look behind you. »

I turned back, and noticed a person laid against the walls of the saloon on the street. It was Shane's shape, from what i could see in the dark.

« See you! »

I stopped while Seb and Sam were heading away ; Abigail didn't go with them at first. She instead started whispering at me.

« It was just a game, you're not forced to do this, you know.  
\- Leave it to me Abby, I'll show them i'm not a sissy. »

She sighed, gave me a hand sign, and trudged on the path to her house. I could see her disappear in the obscurity of the night.  
When i turned to Shane, i felt nervous. It was all for her, just for Abby. I didn't even needed to get really close to that guy, right? But what if he was a sociopath? What if he had a violent behavior? My legs walked to his body and kneeled, but I was shaking like hell.

« Shane ? That's your name, right?  
\- … Leave me alone... »

I had a deep sigh and gently glided my hand over his upper arm.

« Listen, you shouldn't stay out there in the cold night. You're gonna catch a cold.  
\- Booze keeps me warm, just get lost already. »

He suddenly burped, I stepped back quickly. He was _so_ disgusting. I tried to be the nicest i could to him, and yet he acted so rude.

« Come with me, I'll bring you home, okay? »

Did I even need to do that? Would he remember tomorrow? I have to admit, I would feel bad leaving him to be in the middle of the street during such a night.  
Dared or not, i'm going to help him anyway. Even just this time.

« Grab my shoulder. »

I slipped my arm in his back and pushed on my feet with all my strength getting him to stand up, and with all the trouble of the world we finally succeeded.

« B-Bleh… Thanks. »

And we slowly started lurching up to Marnie's ranch in the cold of a moonless Saturday night.

« Why are you drinking that much? Look at you, you're wasted.  
\- What a sharp eye, I didn't even notice I was.  
\- Don't play that game with me, I could just drop you there and you wouldn't even be able to use your two little feet to go back at your place. »

He didn't even answer, just resting his head on my shoulder in a silent half-nod. He should have passed out by now, with that amount of alcohol in his blood.  
When we arrived at the ranch, i slowly knocked at the door ; immediately the entrance opened to deliver the face of a restless Marnie in a luminous hall. She looked so worried and desperate.

« Shane? Is that him? »

He slowly lift his head but immediately slid his sleeve to cover his eyes.

« T-The light, Marnie…  
\- Are you kidding me, Shane? It's 1am, you're drunk, you came back home only thanks to Nancy, and all you find to say is about the light? »

He didn't answer, lowering his head to avoid any facial confrontation.

« I'll just bring him to his room so he can get some rest. »

The woman stepped back to let us enter, looking at the floor with pitiful eyes.

« Get some rest Marnie, he's safe now. »

She nodded, pointing her finger at the other side of the room to what she called "his bedroom", and went to lock herself in her own while i carried Shane to the door.  
I opened by turning the handle, and a violent smell of booze and sweat immediately got my nose. He was an absolutely disgusting man.

« Oh my god, do you never open the window?  
\- Fuck you, I'm not in the mood for anymore comments about my lifestyle... »

Some more steps, and i pulled him on his bed. He was definitely heavier than he looked like at first view, and i stretched out once i was free from the weight.

« Take care of you Shane, will you? You won't make any friends by acting rude as heck.  
\- Just buzz off, you're a brat to think that way. I don't need no friend. »

He turned away, burped a last time before shoving himself in the blanket.

« Fine. I'll leave you die in the streets next time. »

He mumbled something under the sheets, but I didn't even hear it. Simply swiveling on my own feet, I walked to the door and closed it behind me.

It was so silent out there. I could hear my footsteps to the entrance, then on the grass that I was walking on.  
I felt like that night was one of the longest i've ever had since i moved here. Shane was rough and rude, and Marnie was so concerned about his well being. Does he have any idea what it feels like to be as helpless as she was seeing he wouldn't get back home?  
I probably should tell Sam i give up on that dare. It was a good opportunity for me to get Abby worried, but wasting my days helping a drunk ass wouldn't get me anywhere.

I looked up at the bright starts of the sky, shining diamonds that were lightning my path to home, and i kept thinking about what happened earlier.

The next morning, i woke up at the thud of knocks at my door. Grabbing my alarm I could read a flashy "09:46" on the screen. Who'd wake up this early on a Sunday morning to go annoy me the hell out of my sleep?  
I walked to the front door and opened it to find the guy I helped yesterday night. He had heavy dark circles around the eyes, and the same old jacket he was wearing before.

« Hey. You're Nancy? Marnie told me you picked me up yesterday night, she wanted me to go apologize. I barely remember anything, but still.  
\- On a sunday morning?  
\- Sorry. »

I groaned my exhaustion, to which he scratched the back of his head.

« I'll go now. You don't need to talk to me anymore. I'm grateful you helped yesterday but i'm not the kind who'd be all over your feet after that. Just forget about me and leave me alone.  
\- Still as rude as yesterday, i guess? I expected you to be different while sober.  
\- Don't worry, you're not the first person I disappoint in my life. »

He seemed in pain, resting his foreheads in one hand as started turning around. But I quickly grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him from getting further away.

« Listen, you're certainly having a bad hangover. Let me give you something to get better, maybe some coffee? »

He suddenly turned his head while shivering, and frowned to me with a pissed look in the black of his eyes.

« What, do you think we're pals now? Don't fucking touch me ever again.  
\- Wow, calm down. »

He almost spit at me as I stepped back, and only then i saw him getting relaxed. Without another word he walked away, back to the Marnie's farm.  
Maybe Sam was right, he really is simply an annoying alcoholic afterall. Maybe he's got nothing to offer despite hate and insults.

« Asshole! »

I screamed my lungs out as he was already at mid-field distance ; and without even looking at me in front face, he simply offered me a middle finger.

And this night was the night I met Shane for the first time.


	2. Chapter 2

Plow, plant, reap. That had been my quotidian for the past days already gone on that sunny tuesday. Afterall it still was spring, and I was sure my cauliflowers would bring back its lot of money by the end of the season.

It's been a few days since the "Shane accident" happened ; I didn't approach the guy since then nor Marnie's farm, and was about to head in town during the day to tell Sam I was giving up on the dare. Socializing with an antisocial isn't what I'd call fun, or even interesting to begin with. If he kept being that rude to me I don't see why I should make any efforts.

And so I went, with my mudded boots, walking on the wet dirt from the previous rainy day. The birds were chirping on my way and the sunshine felt nice on my skin, it truly was a beautiful and colorful day.

I noticed a pale figure at distance walking in the direction of the bridge ; Clint? No, he was way too thin. It's only by getting closer that i noticed Shane, on his way to the Joja market.  
Hearing footsteps, he turned around and stopped there for a second, in the middle of the bridge. His severe voice broke the silence of the place.

« What are you looking at?  
\- I'm just walking, no need to be so defensive so early in the morning you know. »

For a second, he looked away and lost his gaze on the bumps of the water under the stoned path.

« I know I've been rude last time. I'm not used to talking to people, okay? Don't get the wrong idea of it. I'm not a jerk. »

I stepped to join him, but he moved back.

« You look like a jerk and sound like a jerk, tho. But who am I to say anything? I know that some people in that big world aren't really the kindest. You used to be living in the city too, right? »

He hesitated for a second, bent his head while scratching his poorly maintained beard and sighed.

« Yeah. Tough times. »

I crossed my arms under my chest and looked at him again, from head to feets. He was just someone too seemingly, a "someone" who can speak and open himself. At least that was a beginning.

« But you're in Pelican Town now, you've got nothing to fear from the people. I've never met such kind and welcoming neighbors to be honest.  
\- Say that to your friends, huh. »

I could already see his jaw creaking from the memory, I just lowered my head. Really, he had to be rancorous in addition to all his flaws?

« So, you do remember what happened the other night, afterall?  
\- If you think it was a one time thing then you're wrong, he's always been such a huge dick and I can't really forget about him no matter how drunk I get.  
\- Sam can get heat up a bit too quickly, though it doesn't make of him a bad person.  
\- Can't believe anyone would hang out with that kind. »

I shrugged while he turned back on his feet to continue his way to the JojaMart nonchalantly, both his hands tucked into his pockets.

« I've got some work now, but you can find me after my shift at the saloon if you want to talk more. »

Did he just… Invite me to go take a drink? I smiled, and gave him a hand sign in his back. He couldn't really see it but that was my way of accepting.  
Finally, he finally started warming up! I was starting to think his entire being was just a long face and a sprinkle of rude words. But maybe he still felt alone under his mask playing as if he didn't care?  
I saw him disappear behind the automatic doors of the building, and turned back myself while happily clapping my hands.  
Now, I had my chance to brag in front of Abby and make her jealous!

Forgetting all about my daily tasks, I immediately headed for the lake where Abigail and the two other oddballs spent their day. They were in the middle of what sounded like a deep conversation, but Sam noticed me first and lifted his hand in my direction.

« Hey, Nancy! Bet you came to tell us you're giving up, huh?  
\- Stop with that story already Sam, it wasn't fun to begin with. »

I backed against a tree and smiled victoriously, lifting my thumb to Sam.

« He invited me to go take a drink, tonight, after his shift. Didn't think I could do it, huh? »

Four eyes pointed right at me with a stun, but Seb didn't care. He was sitting on the ground, smoking while gazing at the lake.

« Nancy, are you serious? »

Abigail stepped to me and gave me a playful arm pat with a jaded expression and a cynical laugh.

« Ahah, very funny. Don't joke about that, okay?  
\- I'm not kidding, he's really told me to come. Seemingly he's just a desperate sicko. »

I could see her hesitating, opening her mouth, then looking on the ground with worry in her eyes.

« Don't go get yourself in trouble Nancy, that sounds rather creepy.  
\- Let her go Abby, she's accepted the dare afterall.  
\- What about you stop being a kid? »

She turned to Sam with annoyance in her voice, her hairs floating in the fresh wind of that morning ; but he answered with a sigh.

« You're one to say, you began that bottle stuff all by yourself!  
\- Come on guys, let's not fight over some silly game. »

I intertwined Abigail's fingers with mine, barely noticing my own gesture, and looked at her right in her eyes.

« I'm gonna be fine, so don't worry about me. »

I suddenly heavily blushed and let her hand go while realising. What on earth just took me?

« I mean…  
\- Take care, Nancy. »

She glided her arms around my shoulders to hug me, right now, without any warning. I almost could feel my heart getting out of my chest by now.

« S-Sure! »

I noticed Sebastian's eyes stuck on my face, looking troubled, before quickly switching back to the lake in a complaint.

« I'm gonna vomit.  
\- Don't get sick now, Seb. »

Sam crossed his arm behind his head as Abby was releasing her embrace, her embarrassed eyes travelling elsewhere.

« I'll go back home now. My father wanted me to help a bit with the shop today. »

And without waiting a single second, she hurried elsewhere in the direction of the town, leaving me alone with the two guys.  
We all starred, waiting for her to get further before talking.

« She's obviously all over you, you really wanna hang with Shane?  
\- Not if she asks me to drop him first, of course. »

Sam gave me a thumbs up and a large teasing smile.

« That's a plan I like! »

Sebastian stood up abruptly following this discussion, and simply started walking away, throwing his cigarette in the lake and shoving both his hands in his pockets with a bleary face.

« You're such brats.  
\- You're never no fun anyway, Seb. What's wrong this time? »

He didn't answer and walked past the trees behind the hill to enter the door of the carpenter shop. Silence installed itself while we both were watching the black haired disappear inside, until Sam broke the quiet of the place.

« Anyway Nancy, good luck on your date with the psycho. I wanted to train my guitar moves a bit this morning before my mom comes back from Pierre's, I'll leave you there. Give me news later! »

As I laid my back against a tree trunk, Sam left heading straight to the town. I stayed, watching over the waves that the fish were stirring on the surface of the lake. Maybe I really was doing something wrong, toying with someone's feelings isn't something I would do in normal time… Right?  
Maybe I was taking too much from their childish games.

I slipped back on my own two feet and walked over to the bar already. I didn't have anything else to do for the day beside waiting and thinking anyway.

Shoving my face into my crossed arms, Gus was staring at me with a questioned look on his eyes.

« Nancy? You won't take anything?  
\- Don't mind me, I'm waiting for someone. »

I mumbled while raising my head to face the barman who simply nodded with a smile and walked away to clean some more glasses. He surely was preparing himself for that night's shift.  
I sighed, and set back my head to rest on the wood of the bar.

« Gus, you ever had weird friends asking you to do weird things? »

I heard a chuckle in front of me.

« I've been young too, you know. Something's wrong with Abigail?  
\- Not especially. »

He didn't answer anymore, and I simply fell back in my own wonders on how that night was going to turn out.

I felt a tapping on my back and immediately opened my eyes. Did I fall asleep? The usual customers were already all in the saloon, I could see the blacksmith already at a table in the corner of my eye and the voices of Pam and Emily in the back.  
I straightened my back immediately and looked at the source of the tapping.

« Shane?  
\- Don't tell me you passed out drunk already? »

I sighed and looked away.

« Nah, probably passed away from boredom.  
\- Gus, two beers please. »

He raised his hand while speaking before focussing back on me.

« Did you wait that long? »

He smirked as I stretched my arms far above my head.

« Yeah, I had nothing to do with my afternoon. The farm's already been taken care of so I waited for you.  
\- Didn't know you'd just sit there and fall asleep. »

The beers arrived as Gus put them on the table without a word, he simply turned around to clean some more glasses far from us.

« Listen, Shane. I think we both started off the wrong foot.  
\- … Maybe.  
\- You don't sound like a terrible guy either. You're just… Super rude. »

He looked away with an uncomfortable gaze and took a sip from his beer.

« Yeah. Being social isn't my strong point, you guessed. »

Silence set up as I was looking at the beer foam slowly liquifying in front of my eyes.

« Eh, so… Why are you so all over me all of sudden? »

My eyes locked with his for a second in confusion, I raised an eyebrow and he immediately lowered his eyes.

« No, I didn't mean it that way- I'm just… I don't get why you wanna hang out with me.  
\- I don't know either. »

I took a second to look at the wall and think fast. If i was sincere and told him that Sam dared me to flirt with him, he'd probably storm off and never speak to me again. But there was really no other reason than to make Abby jealous.

« You're just an… Interesting guy, I guess.  
\- Weird. Nobody ever said that about me.  
\- There's always a first. »

I smiled and looked around, seeing him from the side of my eye finish his drink in quick sips.

« Gus, another. »

He pushed his glass with the tip of his hand and burped.

« You shouldn't drink too much.  
\- I'll need much more than two beers to make me feel anything. »

I shrugged.

« So… What do you like to do in your free time? »

He sneered and grabbed the second drink Gus was offering him as soon as it presented itself.

« Don't you know? I'm at the bar every day. Though I help Marnie with the barn too.  
\- And that's all? No friends, no hobbies?  
\- Just look at the miss here who judges people from what they do in their free time.  
\- I wasn't judging- »

He glanced over me, shutting my mouth almost immediately in awkwardness.

« It's fine. I just don't care about hobbies.  
\- You just sound kind of... Lonely. »

In a simple nod, he leaned his glass at the tip of his lips. I copied, gulping my drink straight under his curious eyes

« Fast drinker, huh? »

Looking at the distance, Shane showed an odd smile on his face.

« Woman after my own heart. »

« Hey Nancy, what about hanging around a bit more? »

Shane was closing his jacket, mumbling his feeble words with hesitation. It was cold outside, and I could notice Gus closing the door behind us with a look of worry over Shane.

« Be careful if you stay out you kids, it's really dark out there.  
\- Don't worry, we won't stay long. »

I waved at him, before turning back on Shane. His eyes sparkled in mine as he started walking down the path.

« Follow me, there's a nice place near the barn. »

I didn't say a word, following his footsteps in the darkness, only lightened by the soft glow of the moon.

« At least this time I don't have to lift you home dead drunk.  
\- Hey, no comments. You're ruining the mood.  
\- What mood? »

I caught up to his pace, walking besides him in silence.

« ... Forget about it. »

He whispered these words, but I wasn't listening anymore. I could already spot some fireflies floating in the air, above the river that separated the beach from the rest of the town, pouring through the forest.

« That's so pretty…  
\- Wait 'til we're at the lake, the view's even better over there. »

We kept walking for a few minutes in utter silence, before sitting on the side of the wooden deck. I let my legs hang near the water that was reflecting the thousand little light spots flying around, rhythmed by a gentle blow above the surface. It was spectacular, and such a calming view.

« Why did you bring me here?  
\- I don't know. I just like the place. »

He stood up, looking over to the sky with some kind of disbelief in his eyes.

« I might sound dramatic but... »

He stopped mid sentence as I heard him gulp hesitantly.

« Hm?  
\- I don't know. You're the only one who's ever interested herself in me. »

My eyes faltered back to the surface of the lake as I took a deep breath. My lies weighed on my chest for a second.

« So, please hear me out on this one. You never felt like, no matter what you do… You'll just fail anyway? »

I took a second before answering, I could feel the pressure above my head. Where was he coming from all of sudden?

« It used to be the case when I was in the city...  
\- It just feels like… Like... »

I looked up to him, I could see the green of his eyes getting lost somewhere on the horizon as his mouth opened and closed itself, searching for his own words.

« Like you're stuck in some abyss, and you're so deep inside you just can't see any light... »

Was he trying to open up? To talk about his feelings? I listened silently, I didn't want to suddenly break what beginning of trust he had in me. And yet, despite how much I forced myself to be near him, the way he looked at the distance with his lost gaze felt so familiar, like an old struggle itching on the back of my head.

« I don't know why I'm telling you this.  
\- It's fine, Shane... »

I looked up to him as he lowered his eyes with surprise.

« I know what it's like, when no matter how hard you try you just can't find a way to climb out of that hole. That's the reason I left everything behind me and came to live in this farm. »

We both smiled at each other, as I gently pushed him with my fist on his side to playfully tease him.

« Though, light drinking is making you soft. That doesn't fit you! Aren't you supposed to be a big mean mouth and that's all?  
\- I know. I'm just glad at least one person is willing to listen to me in this shithole of a world. »

He turned around and started walking away from me, he sounded both relieved and pained, giving off an odd feeling of melancolia that filled my soul entirely.

« I'll see you tomorrow, if you still wanna talk to me. »

He chewed these words out while scratching the back of his head, and I simply shrugged when he stopped to turn around and look at me, waiting for an answer.

« I'll wait for the end of your shift outside Jojamart, is that alright?  
\- Yeah. »

He showed off a big smile on his face and walked away, as I stayed over the dock, deep in my thoughts. My feelings felt messed up, I didn't expect to relate to this old and lost alcoholic. But here he was, pouring his heart out for me to listen about his pain and struggles. What was I supposed to do now? Keep lying, give up on the dare? Was it even about the dare anymore?

The light from Marnie's house turned on as Shane's silhouette walked in and closed the door behind him, far in the distance.  
I couldn't just leave him and forget about what happened tonight anymore, right?


End file.
